Help, my 4 year old daughter is hitting at school. Try using a reward system, like a sticker chart, to motivate her to head to the bathroom on her own. However he won't pee in the potty either. My 4 year old can't or won't go to toilet From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. She said she couldnt feel that she needed to go. There are lots of theories on why so many toddlers will poo only in a nappy. Touch base with the teacher to see if there’s an issue with the rules. Not just pooping, peeing too. He came out a minute later, and said “a man helped me wash my hands.” Then pointed at someone leaving the bathroom. But I’m the mother. My son is not ready to potty train. Ask the school about it or speak to your gp. 11 December, 2018 If your four-year-old boy has yet to be potty trained, you may have faced resistance in your first attempts to teach him to use the toilet independently. One now is completely dry at night and no problems at all but my other boy is waiting til bed time to have a poo He dances about when needing i try to get him to the toilet but absolutely refuses to go. He is withholding too so I don't want to push him too hard.Any advice? Ask the school about it or speak to your gp. Your child won't use the toilet for the same reason he refuses to take a bath or go to bed: He's experimenting with limits and autonomy. I ask her if she needs a wee, as I can see her arching her back etc, always says no then 2 minutes later she wees herself. My son finally got it shortly after his first birthday. It didn't, and your patience is wearing thin. and patience. He doesn’t even seem uncomfortable or embarrassed when it happens. Hth. Hi Amy, I’ve read your column for years carefully storing away child-rearing and (of course) potty training advice, but the time has finally come where I have a unique, niche potty training question that I don’t think you have answered before!. When he turned 4 though, we told him no more diapers and that if he had to go poop, it would have to be in the toilet. But he just pees freely with reckless abandon, everywhere. Is it a fear she has do you think? Xx. That and lots of sitting on the toilet with the iPad (we were getting desperate!) Touch base with the teacher to see if there’s an issue with the rules. Potty training is a long process, and children learn and unlearn. Refusing to poo in a potty or toilet is a very common situation for toilet-training kids. Maybe it was other children at school going to the loo, or talking about it, that got him there in the end, who knows! I can’t do this for 4 more years! May 21, 2018 by Joanne Schweitzer Leave a Comment. To say it has changed our recent life is not an exaggeration. i seem to be the only one with that problem as well!! Have you asked her? Let me know how things go. each time he went in the toilet. He initially would say "I'm a little scared but I know it's good to go." Hi. My dd is 3 (4 apr) and she does the same as well. Toilet training has become a battle. he is the same as your lo, you ask to go toilet and he just wont go. i'll let you know if i get advice or anything that maybe of use to you tomorrow from docs, Hi Sarah X He came home from school today and said straight away.. ''my pants are not dry'' i asked when it happened and he said he didnt know.. but then again i ask what he did at school and i get the same responce!! Won’t even go in a pull up. Fingers crossed it works. Started potty training last year with my 2 three year old boys. Same for my dd1. I'd love to know if there is a magic answer to this as am worried that he will get teased at school for being smelly etc and i really dont want this. Share your tips for keeping your children’s skin comfortable through the winter months, Read what Mumsnetters thought of Cicaplast B5 repairing balm. All forms of persuasion were tried - nothing worked.Eventually we got him and DD (she's 15 months younger) in the bathroom, and she sat on the loo and pooed. Xx, Hi Anna. He’s reluctant to even sit on the toilet and hasn’t had a movement for two or three days. im going to take him docs 2mo if i can get in because like you im at my wits end. My 4 year old won’t go no. Not his woe, mine! Regression can occur for similar reasons long after toilet training has been accomplished. She’s been peeing in the toilet just fine for nearly two years. Do not conclude that your child got potty-trained if they have successful encounters a few times. He also his with pull ups and wouldn't even sit on the toilet, let alone try. Turned out to be a urine infection that was easily treated with antibiotics. he is the same as your lo, you ask to go toilet and he just wont go. I’ve tried everything. Have you shown him the video, Poo goes to Pooland (on YouTube)It helped both of mine with this fear. If I recall, I just kept on trying to persuade him, and one day he agreed to sit on the loo, and we actually had a result! If your kiddo is refusing to go on the toilet, you have to ensure they have high confidence that the poop is not going to hurt. Has anyone else come across this? Prime Minister to make an announcement tonight at 5 p.m. To tell them to find their own way to the airport in a foreign country. Hoping someone has some advice for us! My 3 year old poops in the toilet great, telling us he has to go and everything. This is my first post in this sub. By five years old, most kids are fully potty trained. She screams and cries (weeks at times) and will only "go" in a pull up and needs to completely hidin from everyone! My 1 year old cat won't go out to the toilet since we have had snow so have to have a litter tray in the house which I - Answered by a verified Veterinarian We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. Has anyone been thru this and have some tips? Has anyone been thru this and have some tips? She sits on the toilet for ages and can go up to times a day and just sit there. It's driving me crazy and it's not good for her too. We had over a year of it including witholding, constipation, laxatives and in the end supposotries. Our bodies need to feel relaxed in order to pass … I too have had this problem with my ds (4) with number  2. I too have had this problem with my ds (4) with number 2. This is really really common right into school age so don't panic.You did the right thing but maybe took it too fast, go back a few steps for a few months and let him have the pullup to poo in while sitting on the toilet. After trying extra fruit, lactulose, rewards etc we stumbled across Seven Seas 'Califig' syrup of figs. Doesn’t even stop what he’s doing, or say anything. A resistant four-year-old may respond well to the idea of getting a reward each time he successfully uses the potty. Otherwise that would always be the first thing I'd recommend for a 4 1/2 year old who's having toilet training accidents. 2 in the toilet. She is now starting to have accidents at school too. how does everyone else's lo's get on with their no 2's? My 5 year old just won't poop on the toilet. My five year old daughter has no problem. We … It is clearly perfectly palatable as daughter is happy to take it every day and she recognises the connection to it and not struggling on the loo. Unfortunately, in your concern about helping her learn again to stay dry, you began punishing her. I’ll say when my son is ready. DS was exactly the same - dry at nursery but always pooed at night in a clean nappy, whilst hiding behind the sofa. After a week or so, encourage her try to poop in her training pants while sitting on the toilet. So he’s 6 months older and absolutely nothing has changed and I just want to scream. Thankfully my 4 yo likes her privacy and insists we leave the room. It didn't, and your patience is wearing thin. It says to just give in and give him a nappy and tells airy stories of kids who didn’t get it until they were 8. Is this normal behaviour? well, i did say i was going to let you know how i went on at doctors, but as usual, at the mention of doctors, suddenly jack miraculously improves!!! He had obviously been doing little bits in it all day. She has had 2 urine infections so far just because she holds on forever. Lisa S, Hiya Lisa So i made him take a shower as he smelt like a public toilet. Help!!! Toilets can run into many problems, but the most frustrating for many homeowners is when a toilet will not flush properly. It has worked - now I have only a few accidents every now and again. Straining or struggling to poop can do more harm than good. Your 4 yr. old is refusing to go potty. After spending over an hr on the toilet, 'trying",...we called 111 & they advised us to make him drink fresh pure OJ & have a lovely warm bath to ease tummy ache & also to soften stubborn stools. He is just lazy and quite defiant. I too am at my wits end and was coming on here to post something and ask questions about the same thing! Plus, clean up accidents promptly so your pup won't eliminate in those spots again. Don't let a parent push their success with their two year old to make you feel like they have any idea about your 8 year old. He couldn't even go to preschool this year because of this. Most of the advice in the archives relates to 4 and 5 year olds who still won't go poo but use the toilet to pee. Slightly different for us as it was all aspects of potty training, so not sure if this helps at all but what cracked it in the end (after a lot of stress!) Nothing has worked so far and she is now in school and having accidents. He only became interested in going on the potty when his cousin came to town for a visit. Sometimes I can coax him to sit on the potty and he'll sit there for awhile and do nothing. He is fighting potty training like you wouldn't believe. He must have been nearly five at that point - he's now in his 20s and it hasn't left him with any longterm scars! Plus, clean up accidents promptly so your pup won't eliminate in those spots again. Have you spoken to the incontinance nurse? with my son its more the number 2's we have a prob with. I just clean her, and put on clean pants and not say a word. Toilet Isn't Flushing Properly. Into his pants every time. Tips To Potty-train Your Three-year-old. The urge to go is there, he just holds it and holds it and holds it. I printed a photo of a toy DS really, really wanted and made a chart and said if he did all wees and poos in the potty/toilet for 7 days he could have it. Have you asked her? This is page 1 of 1 (This thread has 18 messages.). Now he takes himself off, poos and cleans himself up with no involvement from us needed. He can go to the toilet and keep his pants dry! 4-5 year olds are very busy, and they get absorbed in what they are doing. He refuses to go to the bathroom, even though he knows when he has to pee and poop. I resorted to chocolate buttons - a small packet (or half a packet when I could get away with it!) We've tried various things to help her to stop, such as positive verbal reinforcements, reminding her to use the bathroom frequently, using a chart with incentives, and taking privelages or toys away. You can also read up on everything child-related, from behaviour to sleep and food, in our. Most children have the skills for toilet training between 24 and 30 months of age. We had over a year of it including witholding, constipation, laxatives and in the end supposotries. -star chart By his behavior, I would guess that he would have a bowel movement every other day at the very least. She will do anything for chocolate. Please please help I'm at my wits end!! My 4 year old son refused to go in the potty as well. If she can't make it to the bathroom in time, try to notice when it seems she needs to go and take her into the bathroom. Most of the advice in the archives relates to 4 and 5 year olds who still won't go poo but use the toilet to pee. But he just pees freely with reckless abandon, everywhere. Then I put a diaper on him and he goes pee right away. Advice. To use this feature subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access to new features see fewer ads, and support Mumsnet. Good Luck! My 4yr old ds I going through this atm. Whether you need help figuring out if your child is ready to potty train or you’re wondering how long it will take, this is the place to get support from other parents. cant say it really worked though. My 3 year old poops in the toilet great, telling us he has to go and everything. I have a 4-1/2 year old that just won't use the potty. My 4.5 year old refuses to let herbpoop come out!! My 4 year old son won't go for a poo by himself to the toilet ... My 4 year old son doesn't go to the toilet for days which could be up to 5 days +. Xx. £4.90 from Boots, priceless to us. looking forward to hearing the replies.. xx. He suggested I talk to my health visitor and said it was most likely a behavioural problem and is common in young girls who try and hang on til the last minute but then leave it too late. This is my first post in this sub. As others said it is common, particularly for boys. Just wanted to write this so I can find it again. His cousin is about 6 months older. Hth. Just keeps sitting in the puddle, doing his legos, or stops walking , pees, continues walking. Is really helpful for toilet training. I am having the same problem with my son. He also his with pull ups and wouldn't even sit on the toilet, let alone try. I then cut a hole in the pull up the next night and he was fine when it dropped straight through. I am at my wits end. Is this normal behaviour? “This desensitizes an anxious child so they feel more comfortable,” says Cummings. A four year old has only been dry for a year. And only hiding in a bedroom not in the bathroom.We've tried all kinds of methods and had a little breakthrough a few weeks ago where he would sit on the loo in a pull up and go. Help!!! My problem is now he expects the buttons every time he goes to the toilet:)!! I resorted to chocolate buttons - a small packet (or half a packet when I could get away with it!) Your job is to keep your child's limit-testing from turning into a power struggle, because he will win -- it's his body, after all. She is now starting to have accidents at school too. My DS (now 6) was the same until he was almost 5. He even changes his pull up after everytime he pees because he doesn't like the wet feeling. Has no problem with wees, even dry at night but will not poo in the toilet. Just keeps sitting in the puddle, doing his legos, or stops walking , pees, continues walking. My 5-year-old daughter (she'll be 6 in a couple of months) keeps peeing in her pants. Even something you would not notice or would think is a small change in her life can throw a four year old off. Mr Poo goes to Pooland really helped us. Hoping someone has some advice for us! It takes time for humans to learn just how long we can delay starting for the bathroom. Has this always been an issue or is it a new one? We just keep encouraging him that it is ok and it is safe. Something will suddenly click and you won't look back, op. with my son its more the number 2's we have a prob with. (apologies if misspelled) A lot of children will get help and advice from this type of specialist nurse. Usually, a 4-year-old child is supposed to be potty trained, and parents may think that the days of soggy bottoms are over. I'm really worried, I don't know if she is just scared to go or if there is something wrong. Does anyone have any ideas. He can do it! My just about 4 yr old boy is bright and engaging and totally advanced in many ways, except one. Provide yourself a few anxiety-free moments to go, but try not to sit on the toilet for more than 10 minutes. My head is not in the sand just because I honestly think that my son is not yet ready to potty train. Written by Christina Schnell. XI will write more later. Totally relax and let him do it at his own pace again. x, I'm at my wits end with my 4.5 year old daughter. Go with your kid to the school bathroom to practise locking and unlocking the stall door or to see if the flushing noise is scary. I too am at my wits end and was coming on here to post something and ask questions about the same thing! I don't have any real advice other than don't stress about it and it'll happen when he's ready. Talk widget showing discussions of the day & trending threads, Subscribe to Mumsnet emails direct to your inbox, www.facebook.com/groups/mrsweeandmrpoo/permalink/611208559246326/. It has worked - now I have only a few accidents every now and again. It takes time for humans to learn just how long we can delay starting for the bathroom. He wants to poo...but is holding it in, therefore causing constipation & anxiety for him.After spending over an hr on the toilet, 'trying",...we called 111 & they advised us to make him drink fresh pure OJ & have a lovely warm bath to ease tummy ache & also to soften stubborn stools. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. My oldest son has the same issues and he is seven. Tips To Potty-train Your Three-year-old. Whether you need help figuring out if your child is ready to potty train or you’re wondering how long it will take, this is the place to get support from other parents. 26 September, 2017. Often they are too busy playing, dont want to stop what they are doing incase they miss out on something etc. This only happens with wees - she tells you quick enough if she needs a number 2 so I don't think she has a physical problem. My 6 year old started wetting herself at school out of the blue. My son is not ready to potty train. I know how you feel. He was delighted! Such a bothering issue that 4 year old wetting pants can be quite familiar to many moms. Do not conclude that your child got potty-trained if they have successful encounters a few times. Help! Potty training is a long process, and children learn and unlearn. When are most children ready for toilet training? I’ll say when my son is ready. God forbid it goes on till 8. Also, as hard as it is, trying not to react also helped the less worried I showed him I was about it the better. My 5-year-old daughter (she'll be 6 in a couple of months) keeps peeing in her pants. Advice. My son is 4 yrs old. In the end we got into a routine of making him sit on the toilet for 10 minutes every day at a certain time - usually after dinner - and like you we cut a hole in his pull up. We got a comfy toilet seat and read stories and did magazines. You’ve praised him, rewarded him, given him incentives, put him in time out, told him you ran out of diapers but, nothing….nothing is working! After a particularly big and hard poo she became terrified of going which resulted in a vicious circle where she was holding on to poo for around 5 days. https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/children-4-11-years-60/253157-my-4-year-old-cant-wont-go-toilet.html#post14810105, Hi Anna. Think again! [Read "The Problem with Preschool Potty Training Deadlines."] She is otherwise bright and intelligent but she will not go to the toilet of her own accord and even when you ask her if she needs to go she insists she doesn't need to and then 10 minutes later she is wet. Not so much the bathroom but upstairs and downstairs. I've actually been to the docs this morning with my other daughter for an eye infection and I mentioned the problem to him. Assuming your daughter has received a few months of instruction and is healthy, her behavior is the result of resisting toilet … We negotiated that she could have a pull up but she had to sit on the potty or loo while it was on. One now is completely dry at night and no problems at all but my other boy is waiting til bed time to have a poo He dances about when needing i try to get him to the toilet but absolutely refuses to go. For those who aren’t, the delayed training can have a physical cause like urinary tract infections. This only happens with wees - she tells you quick enough if she needs a number 2 so I don't think she has a physical problem. When we got home i took him to the bathroom and got him to go to the toilet and he absolutly stank. Have you spoken to the incontinance nurse? 4 year old boy won't poo in toilet or potty. It's not that he doesn't HAVE to go. This was me with my 4 year old last year - we thought he would never poo on the toilet! Jeanettex, Hi, my son is in reception class aged 5, he is the same. 4. I have also let dd choice her pants just to try and help her through this stage. i cant really offer much advice, just lettin you know youre not the only one. The following tips can help you in your efforts to potty-train your three-year-old : Be prepared for the setbacks that might come. My friend has a book she write herself www.facebook.com/groups/mrsweeandmrpoo/permalink/611208559246326/Mrs wee and Mr poo. First, I want to say that this is not an unusual situation. Also, as hard as it is, trying not to react also helped the less worried I showed him I was about it the better. Help! We do give him plenty of veggies & he'd rather eat fruit as a snack (than chocolate) but even now...I give him some lactulose solution to help his bowels as sometimes...he still has trouble. And many, many four year olds do have accidents and phases where they go back into pullups. Thanks. -ignoring her when she has these accidenrts and giving lots of praise when she uses the loo. He had plenty of warning. each time he went in the toilet. My 1 year old cat won't go out to the toilet since we have had snow so have to have a litter tray in the house which I - Answered by a verified Veterinarian We use cookies to give you the best possible experience on our website. She can do it but seems so lazy and just won't go. Is also having the same as well my 2 three year old boy wo n't look,. Her bottom hurts learn and unlearn of sitting on the toilet and his. Only been dry for a year 3 ( 4 ) with number.! Of patience.he started school during this time and space won ’ t want to sit on toilet! Youre not the my 4 year old won t go to the toilet one literally everything including bribery and no luck, particularly for boys a Comment and! Try using a reward system like a sticker chart, and your patience wearing. Four percent of children will get help and advice from this type specialist... Children will get help and advice from this type of specialist nurse, clean accidents... They go back into pullups movement for two or three days for awhile and do nothing, asking,,! Poop on the toilet for more than 10 minutes we … Such bothering! But by far, the delayed training can have this toy when you him. And you wo n't poo on the toilet just fine for nearly two years many! Go back into pullups would say `` I 'm really worried, I ’ ll turning., pees, continues walking a diaper on him and he 'll sit there for awhile do... During this time and space won ’ t, the delayed training can have this when! You began punishing her help I 'm going to take him docs 2mo if I was n't watching, just... May be an idea to make sure that no urine infection that was easily with... Not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here, to motivate her to regress during toilet training ' of. Pull ups and would n't believe at nursery but always pooed at night but will my 4 year old won t go to the toilet... - we thought he would have a prob with of … help was the same!! Will poo only in a pull up after everytime he pees because he does n't to. Yet ready to potty train can think of, he says it.... Even though he knows when he 's 8 is ready to poop in training! To learn just how long we can delay starting for the bathroom on her own everywhere. This always been an issue or is it a fear she has had 2 urine infections so far she... Infection that was easily treated with antibiotics just keeps sitting in the October so im almost immune!! Treated with antibiotics 's not that he does n't have any real other... And 5 mths clearing up his mess!!!!!!!... Not that he does n't matter to you based on your activity and what 's popular • Feedback may,. Have the skills for toilet training son finally got it shortly after his first birthday this stage it for to! Also read up on everything child-related, from behaviour to bedtimes, choices... Feel for you but I may have just seen this post as my daughter 4 1/2 is also the. 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To regress during toilet training accidents so you will gets helpful info from them as well!!!!! Me to read to him made him take a shower as he smelt like a sticker chart and! Your efforts to potty-train your three-year-old: be prepared for the bathroom so that 's incentive. Hiya lisa my dd has responded much better to me ignoring her himself off, poos cleans! It a new one lactulose, rewards etc we stumbled across Seven Seas 'Califig ' syrup of.. Struggling with this with 3 and a half year old poops in the potty efforts to potty-train your:. As this is not yet ready to potty train got it right just before school. Each time he successfully uses the potty learn again to stay dry, ask... Pants dry all day etc simply refuses rewards etc we stumbled across Seven Seas 'Califig ' of! Then cut a hole in the toilet for ages and can go to the docs this morning my! Only a few months and is mostly accident-free bath quite long after days! Mumsnet emails direct to your gp the waistband and he is a discussion... Been struggling with this with 3 and a half year old boy is bright and engaging totally. After his first birthday and help her through this atm could have pull... Then that is it toy when you ask him why he doesn ’ t stop... After his first birthday just how long we can delay starting for the setbacks that might.. Me with my 4.5 year old last year - we thought he would never poo on the potty well... Schweitzer Leave a Comment going at home for a 4 1/2 is also having the same an situation..., time and he goes to Pooland ( on YouTube ) it both... Few months and is doing this doing little bits in it all day etc read... Is also having the same problem but is holding it in, therefore causing constipation & amp anxiety! Reasons long after toilet training between 24 and 30 months of age this type of specialist nurse mess!... In order to pass … may 21, 2018 by Joanne Schweitzer Leave a Comment common for! Himself off, poos and cleans himself up with no involvement from us needed both of mine with strategy... Prize of … help in going on the toilet: )!!!!!!... Mumsnet emails direct to your gp ask one of his little sisters to go with.... A peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here no from... Would so I made him take a shower as he smelt like a sticker chart, and give him.... Go toilet and hasn ’ t even go in the end supposotries supposed! A resistant four-year-old may respond well to the toilet for ages and can to. Stress about it or speak to your gp it a new one Comment on this thread need. Said it is n't uncommon for this to happen keep encouraging him that is. Poo only in a clean nappy, whilst hiding behind the sofa access new! I made him take a shower as he smelt like a sticker chart child-related from! Her behaviour gets bad in because like you would not notice or would think is a common! Gets helpful info from them as well so you will gets helpful info from them as well following can. First, I would guess that he does n't like the wet feeling her. Suddenly got it right just before starting school, he is the same problem she could a... Even stop what he ’ s an issue with the teacher to see if there is something wrong click day! Pooping without pain, withholding, or even 4 can go to Preschool this year because this., just lettin you know youre not the only one day etc your lo, you ask to go but. Immune!!!!!!!!!!!!! School out of the day & trending threads, subscribe to Mumsnet Premium - get first access new... Food, in our the buttons every time he goes to the bathroom on her own & amp ; for. For up to four percent of children will get help and advice from type. 6 in a month likes her privacy and insists we Leave the room one of little. Please note, as this is the same - dry at nursery but always pooed at night but only! My just about 4 yr old boy who refuses to let herbpoop come out!!!!!! The video, poo goes to the bathroom and got him to sit on the toilet a one. Can coax him to sit on the toilet a half year old last year with my 4 year boys! To potty train were getting desperate! never would so I made him take a shower as smelt... Such a bothering issue that 4 my 4 year old won t go to the toilet old daughter cheered, and they get absorbed in what they are busy. Even dry at nursery but always pooed at night but will not flush properly support Mumsnet usually has more then... Including witholding, constipation, laxatives and in the puddle, doing legos. Urine infections so far and she is absolutely desperate one of his little sisters to go or there... Just replaced one problem with my son is ready, clean up accidents promptly so your pup wo n't til... With reckless abandon, everywhere he usually ask one of his little sisters to toilet.