But still nothing. Potty training 5 potty-training strategies that work Child development Why saving your child’s baby teeth could be beneficial in the future Potty training Potty training tips: How to win the potty wars Child development Is the tooth fairy real? Some just weren’t aware of their bodies needs to realize they had to go to the bathroom but others were just stubborn. Please read my disclosure for more info. Don’t ask if she has to use the potty at first. We tried “nakey” time with him and he crapped everywhere. Still working on the nighttime/naptime training (when she usually saves her #2s). And he did warm up to peeing on the potty, eventually. I think because he’s too busy playing, but otherwise, I don’t get it. Thanks for this great guide! Tips To Potty-train Your Three-year-old. I know every child is different, but for busy little boys especially, they just don’t want to take the time to use the potty. Also, I never asked him if he had to go potty… Hide them. © 2016 Alpha Mom. I knew my son. He did amazing (told us as soon as he had to go, didn’t even have to ask him). I think that some kids find it to be very anxiety inducing and the more pressure put on them can make them resistant. So far no accidents commando. I’ve thought a lot about why this experience was so different than it was with his two older sisters, and there are a few things I can pinpoint – as well as some lessons I learned along the way. He would do just enough to stay in undies but not consistent. We first tried the potty seat that sits on top of the regular potty; I guess the height was too much for him. (No consequence, only praise if she made a good-faith effort to get to the potty but did not make it). He really resisted the idea at first and I had to hide his underwear. It’s a lot less scary that way! Toss them. The trickiest part is actually number 4 — if you can hit on the right incentive at the right time, steps 1 – 3 can be blasted through in less than a day or two, at this age. All attempts to really push him before he was interested (even though he had all the “readiness” signs) just turned into a frustrating power struggle. This is great motivation for me! But there are kids who just don’t come to that magical eureka moment without help. I’ve got fingers and toes crossed that this idea works for you. Enter baby #3, our one and only boy. And I knew that there was a way to unlock this mystery of the poop-avoidance, and I was determined to figure it out. Place a potty chair in the bathroom or, initially, wherever your child is spending most of his or her time. He would not clean up after himself, he would rather stand there in all his stubborn glory. Thanks!! A reward chart for potty training will be most effective if a child is rewarded for … We even transitioned to the potty seat on the big toilet after several weeks of using the potty chair at bath and bedtime and whenever he expressed interest in going. Hi Brandi, Thank you for such an honest post. Let us know how commando mode goes! Are you really consistent about when you take him to the potty? (You obviously go back and clean up properly, but she should go through the full motions.). It also depends on the day. By this time my son was approaching age 4. He hides to poop….I have been cleaning up messes every day for a year. EVERY. I cautioned my son, don’t be scared if you have an accident but just know you won’t be able to keep playing because you’ll have a mess we’ll need to clean up if that happens. My son is 3 1/2 yrs old. I feel for you! We have put him in a K4 program in a private school and if he has 2 accidents they will make me withdrawal him. If I ask her why she didn’t use the potty she’ll just say that she didn’t or that she doesn’t. no one is using the same or similar methods. You told yourself that she'd learn when she was ready, or that seeing all the other kids wearing "big girl" underwear would change your 4-year-old's stubborn refusal to toilet-train… Did I make things worse by this approach? I have been cold-turkey potty-training for a year. . I am a huge proponent of cloth diapering, but it didn’t seem to make one bit of difference when it came to potty training. He knows what to do but just doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing. But we simply let him go commando underneath them. so irrational! From all the information I had read about cloth diapering, it was supposed to be a sure-fire way to help your child with early toilet learning. In terms of your stress about being the only parent whose kids isn’t potty trained…I know plenty of kids who aren’t trained at three. He was deliberate and consistent with peeing on the potty. It was so rough when we were going through it, but looking back I realized I could have relaxed about the whole process and it probably would have been a lot less stressful! It sounds like with my son- that maybe we both missed that perfect window of opportunity (it’s forever hard to know WHEN that is, of course). Thanks for stopping by Deb! And please let me know what we can do from here. She actually got cramps when she had to poop, and so she pooped on the potty before she peed, which I think is opposite of the norm. Well, if that was a setback, this new development in my son’s life (the birth of his sister) was a grinding halt in the potty learning saga. Written by Christina Schnell . Epic peak stubbornness, and I speak from experience. Finally something more realistic than “just put them on the potty and in 3 days it’s done.” I am determined to find my little guy’s carrot. The whole family came up with one bribe after another, but none of them special enough to get him to cooperate. I was ready for a rest by then anyway lol, and it let her regain control… Read more ». If 2.5 to 3-year-old who isn’t potty trained yet, you DEFINITELY need this training. Highly recommend “Oh Crap Potty Training” too. Also, he WON’T tell me (or his father OR his daycare caregivers) that he has pooped. Then it was like he lost interest in using the potty. I also knew his awesomely stubborn personality. When I taught my sons, I would place them backwards on the toilet. Terms and Conditions | Privacy Policy | Site by CooperHouse, Best Kids’ Clocks to Help Your Children Stay in Bed Longer. My son has lost “underwear privileges” until further notice Every time I give them back, he has an accident within a day or two. When he “forgot”, it was back to commando mode. Nada. But she just won’t sit there, and is a determined child. It took much longer than a week or two, and it was still hit-or-miss (literally!) We used small consequences when she refused the potty but obviously had to go. it makes Mommy and Daddy so happy and proud of you! It takes major need for him to have an accident. — and she’s basically been like, “yeah, no, pass. Alas, he had no interest in playing on the potty when he could be playing in his room instead. She has a speech delay, but is very intelligent. We were there last year with our 3-year-old. My son is a complete different story. <— MISTAKE! And 3-year-old stubbornness is pretty much the worst kind of stubbornness. Potty training stubborn kids can be a frustrating experience for moms, dads and children. There are several steps you can take to try to help your child get into potty training and get out of this stubborn "I don't want to!" • Why Discipline is So Important for Children – and Why Parents Hesitate, • How to Diffuse Toddler Tempers with Humor, • A Fun Idea for Teaching Values to Young Kids – Without Nagging or Lecturing. So I’m perhaps not in the best frame of mind to be dealing with her training issues as they stand. Everything you described about knowing your son was ready (hiding when he poops, “directing” me to change him) hit home with me! He is now telling me right after he goes that he went and tells me to change him. My son is about to turn 3 in a couple months and we just started potty training in January. She seems to think that the point is to play with toilet paper. But I cannot figure out how to get her to make the connection. I would make sure to not make it feel like a punishment when you take away the undies, but explain it’s just something to try to help him remember when he needs to go. They will hold their potty for awhile, go upstairs together and have accidents and don’t seem phased by the accidents or clean ups. (Control that she already has, honestly, but just not in the way you want.) Thank you for writing this article. So sorry it didn’t work out! He’s 3 so it changes daily/hourly. The best way to respond when your kids ask Potty training ), and we generally followed it. I will let you know if it works! If you’re in the trenches of potty training a stubborn toddler, don’t give up yet! I found it helpful to make sure that our routines were consistent: take him first thing in the morning, before each meal (you have to wash hands anyhow), before bathtime, before bedtime? Thank you again for making me feel like I'm not alone. Amy also documented her second pregnancy (with Ezra) in our wildly popular Weekly Pregnancy Calendar, Zero to Forty. The following tips can help you in your efforts to potty-train your three-year-old : Be prepared for the setbacks that might come. I also needed to help him connect the dots between using the potty and the freedom of going places (like preschool that fall), and not having to worry about constipation and accidents. Every bit of advice I’ve read is pretty much sit a child on a toilet at regular intervals when you have them at home and praise them effusively for success. Ha!) Our daughter didn’t take as long to train, but everyone told me, “Give her a weekend and she’ll be good.” Imagine my disappointment when it took months, with several regressions mixed in! If you take away an existing privilege (like no TV/screen time), you’ll likely be “tested” for awhile before they get that you’re really super serious about it, and oh yes, there will be epic tantrums. You go to bed. I knew it was messy business, but we’d done it fairly easily twice before, so how hard could it be? Removing the diaper option all together was the way to go for us, and she was 99% day trained within 48 hours. To the t, exactly the same situation. Sit him on the potty until he goes or for a reasonable amount of time (5 minutes). Getting Him Used to the Potty Buy a potty that feels comfortable for your son. First he learned to crap squatting, then sitting and then we toilet trained him, but it was a long slog. I have yet to find any ideas. I’ve just got done reading your early potty training advice column and am at home for the fifth day in a row with my sickly three year old. Some owners of smaller dogs, especially those in high rises or cold climates, rely on these pads for potty training year-round. He had major gut issues from birth (like, almost no small intestine), and so I knew we’d train late. However, by planning ahead and having the right materials available, it can do it done. First off, thank you for this post. We have tried almost everything, any help … If he’s frustrated and not willing to sit at all then maybe drop it entirely for a week or so and come back to it. But I don’t want to do nothing either. This theory might be true for learning to pee on the potty earlier, perhaps, but it did nothing for us in regards to poop-training. If you can kind of replicate the process at grandma’s- same type of potty seat, no pressure, positivity/encouragement that you and the daycare give him- he will get it eventually! if a child doesn’t want to be potty trained there’s nothing that you can do to force them as in the end they … For whatever reason, my son could care less about pooping in underwear or pullups (he treated them the same). Week of her third bday, we removed diapers, I put the floor potty in the living room, gave her a cup of water and turned on a movie. What I do know is – moms have instincts for a reason, so use them! Potty training … It makes sense to me that kids need to be able to verbalize their need to use the potty before they can be successful in training. and put him in some cute undies I knew he’d like (SpongeBob fyi) and then set him free at nursery school (obv I had the buy-in of the teacher – it was a tiny play school). My son is getting close to 3. Try different things and don’t be afraid to ditch conventional wisdom now and then. He’s gone for 7 days dry before. Doesn’t even stop what he’s doing, or say anything. We usually skipped naps entirely for the first couple days to avoid messing up any shred of momentum, and then emphasized that diapers were ONLY for bedtime. I just don’t have the time (or quite frankly the inclination) to spend hours in the bathroom every day for absolutely… Read more ». I didn’t push through before because her constipation issues were big and I needed her to go. I am still at a loss with this whole potty training thing. Also, it’s pronounced AIM-ah-lah. I will have to try the commando tip with him. when he’s with me or with daycare, but he won’t go with anyone else, not even dad or grandma (who he’s with twice a week). phase. I also cloth diapered all of my kids to some extent, and I can tell you, it makes no difference! My oldest son was 3; my daughter was barely 2. I am going to give your method a try! They thrive on routines and what’s familiar and the unknown can be kind of scary. Many children still need to wear a diaper at night time or even nap time so getting rid of the diapers is not possible. Waiting is a good tactic as well. Best of luck with your son, Heather. But if there was NOTHING between him and his pants, he knew he had to use the potty. 2) Get rid of the diapers. She hated being wet from birth. So what do you do when you have a brand new baby, no sleep in your near future, and your 4 year old won’t potty train? **How to Potty Train a Stubborn 3 Year Old...FAST! 5) Hang on to your butts. And even when you know they are, it’s definitely a commitment on the part of the parent to help your child ditch the diapers once and for all. Training my son on #2 was flat-out one of the hardest seasons of my life so far! My hunch was, at this point 2 years into “learning” — it came down to control. But it’s true that each caregiver has to be really committed AND she just has to be ready. My daughter’s best buddy is 3.5, and she is only kind… Read more ». The trick is to make her care. Crying, screaming fits would ensue so I gave up on that for periods of time and would try again every week or so. I remember being in that spot, where nothing seemed to work for months on end. POTTY TRAINING! I knew his abilities. She hit three and we said enough is enough with the stubborn yet completely capable. ), If — by the miracle Grabthar’s Hammer — she actually pees in the potty during one of these sessions, make a huge freaking deal out of it. It also became a matter of laziness, to be quite frank. My daughter turned three a couple of weeks ago. But yes, you’re going to have to go cold turkey on diapers. She has me completely confused as to how to get her to be fully potty trained. Amalah is a pseudonym of Amy Corbett Storch. It took us several months after a new baby for the older child to get “back on board” with potty training. I’m going super crazy. That does sound like a lot of pressure with the school situation! So I did what grown up decision makers do; I made the decision for him. Ha!). Decide on a method. Is this Normal? This could have been written by me 3 months ago. And she might care about constantly having accidents — particularly if she’s expected to stop what she’s doing and clean the mess up. He will pee on the potty if I remember to ask him every 1.5 hours. Make it your child's choice. For more information, read our privacy policy. I think it just takes time for some kids- and I wouldn’t underestimate the potty training regression with a new baby in the house- that’s a big thing! Communication is a two-way street. It wasn’t just about the fact that we were spending a fortune in pullups (which we were! Any answers to questions posed and any recommendations or information provided therein should not be used as a substitute for medical or relevant other advice by a health care provider or parenting professional. She’ll go to the potty on her own, without prompting from you and that’ll be the moment when Everything Changes For The Better. And when he did- he got to wear underwear the rest of that day. I’m encouraging her to sit on the potty, but I’m getting a lot of pressure from family to take her out of nappies already. Maybe try commando full-time at home and see if that helps? We’ve been at it for over a week (after a few half hearted attempts) and have very successful days followed by days full of accidents. Make her mop up the puddle with a towel, dispose of the towel, wash her hands. He will potty himself when he has to poop, but when he has to pee there's an issue. I am all for waiting until they are ready, and… Read more », I can’t tell you how happy I was to find this! Sorry for ranting to you, potty training is hard! But unless they have a special need that makes it hard for them to realize their body’s cues they eventually catch on. When questioned, he would tell me that he was playing and didn’t want to stop. Took her 3 hours of holding it but she went, in the potty, and that was it. My son has just turned 3 but showed early signs of potty training when he was around 2 and a half, so we decided to start the whole potty training process, we thought perfect its summer time and all the accidents will happen outside! Consistency is really important, you’re right. (Because if you haven’t figured out how to potty train a stubborn 3 year old, this is the next logical step. But when it comes to walking the walk, or weeing the wee, it doesn’t happen. This is all we’ve got on going on today, and tomorrow. Of course, being very stubborn about… Read more », One note of caution about the super-duper incentive: Make it very clear what the special thing is. (That would be child #3 by the way.). My daughter is almost 4 years old and she still wears pull-ups to bed. At that time, I decided that learning how to potty train a stubborn girl (we have a houseful of headstrong kiddos!) “Boys take longer than girls” she said. However, rest assured that our affiliate relationships do not guide our product recommendations, at all. was a lot easier than I expected it to be. Pediatricians say bedwetting is normal up to about 6 years old. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Also we childproofed heavily and would just walk away (staying nearby for suspicious noises lol). Epic peak stubbornness, and I speak from experience. That is all. Being all full of the cabin fever does not a happy mother make. While I don’t think there’s a “simple” solution for the entire potty learning process from start to finish, I do think a little creativity and understanding what motivates your child can really be beneficial. My toddler has only just started to show signs that she is interested in the potty. Thank you for your blog. You’ve tried presenting the potty as something desirable in and of itself — it’s what big kids use! This is exactly what I am going through with my son right now. Do you have a child who seems impossible to potty train? As stubborn as he was/is, he did not want poop on his pants (and everywhere else) and this was the cue that finally helped to “remind” him that it was time to stop whatever he was doing – and use the potty. (My youngest turns 3 … So maybe I should include step 4a, which is to apply a liberal dose of wine and earplugs. So don’t worry if your 3-year-old… Set another timer (5 minutes or so) and tell her she can’t get up until it sounds. Take the Intentional Parenting Challenge! Will try the commando method tomorrow. Then she had to do the thing with putting her clothes in the washer. She has even stopped mid wee and waited to finish it on the toilet, should it happen during bathtime for example. Not gonna happen. My daughter is turning four in three weeks, and I am counting the days. I am tired and she needs to be fully potty trained in a couple of months for her pre-k program. It’s been awful!!!! My son was almost 4 when we started (and we’re still working on it). Also maybe see if he’d rather have privacy and have the door shut, or have dad and grandma step outside the door while he goes? Here’s another interesting fact:  My son was the only child that I used cloth diapers with – from birth to this point. My third will be 4 next month and is still struggling with being too lazy to go potty. But when the Bigg number two came up she started crying and didn’t want anything not even to sit on the toilet.Should I Be concerned? Everything you said was us!!! My son is 3 and we have been working with him on potty training. Whatever. Potty training (or potty learning, whichever you prefer) was simply an uphill battle with my son, who didn’t fully say goodbye to diapers until he was 4-1/2. When you go on the floor, we have to clean it up. even after the first few months. Ah yes, dispatches from the OTHER end of the potty-training spectrum. Before taking away the diapers and going cold turkey, you’ll want to figure out … We have struggled with potty training for 15 months!!! My son is OVER 4 and still not potty-trained. +1. What we found, though, was that his interest waned after a few days or we ran out of incentives and as soon as the M&M’s were gone, so was his motivation. Maybe. He hates not having a diaper or underwear on so it’s good to know that it may take some getting used to for him before it clicks. She has mastered all the steps to potty, sitting, wiping, flushing, washing, clothes off and on. Just keeps sitting in the puddle, doing his legos, or stops walking , pees, continues walking. I am done, whether she poops or not. He starts school proper in September let’s pray for a mirical and he conquers this problem before then. I am right there with you. I can tell you though, that none of my kids will poop at school/babysitter’s house to this day, and somehow their bodies seem to adjust to going only at times when they’re at home! He has a new baby brother which we know might have made him regress but hasn’t really been clean to regress. It’s honestly not even Mommy’s decision! Call Daddy or Grandma on the phone. We spent a fortune in disposable pull-ups as I struggled to keep up with work, tending to baby and adjusting to four kids. It will happen. So if you think your daughter is physically mature enough and have the nerves to deal with a bed-wetting incident or two, feel free to buy a really good mattress protector and go SUPER cold turkey.). Hi Katie, I think those regressions are common. Step 1: Banish All Diapers from Your House I began Day 1 of Jeanine’s program by telling Charlie that because he was 3 years old, it was time to stop wearing diapers. Don’t worry about all the theories out there. Anyway, I digress severely. He would rather hold it in for an entire day at grandma’s house and wait to come home with me to go. What we did that finally worked was pretty close to the “naked potty training” method, except we let him wear clothes. This site makes use of cookies which may contain tracking information about visitors. That is a great tip Francine! At least we got new carpet out of the whole deal. Is there a special book or toy you could make the “potty toy/book” that she could take to each place and she gets it whenever she needs to use the potty? But of course she has to pee there 's an issue my especially! ( no consequence, only praise if she even senses that they ’ re right stubborn trainee pass. Prize only if she ‘ produces ’ on the floor or a stool even senses they... Hard to know when your child 's feet rest on the whole deal or. Do the thing with putting her clothes in the toilet, should happen... From one accident to five in a day or even sitting on the potty in! 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